For a Dragon Quest game to be funny with the player isn’t necessarily unusual, but what if the player gets funny with the Dragon Quest? What if you’re struck by the desire to attempt to play through one of these games in the worst possible manner? We’ve spent a great deal of time arguing for the best possible builds for each character in DQ8, 3DS additions included, but what about making them perform terribly? Such a thing is surely going to be fun to play, and no doubt the whole story is doable regardless, so let’s see just how unusual we can make things by implementing some restrictions…
Awful PS2 Build
- Hero – (Boomerangs)
- Yangus – (Clubs)
- Jessica – (Knives)
- Angelo – (Fisticuffs)
As you can see, our first build focuses on including characters from the base game only, because we wouldn’t want any players to be excluded from experiencing this misery. Furthermore, you’ll note a distinct absence of what might be known as the ‘usual’ weapons, like Swords, Axes and the like. Despite this, the team is unlikely to lack the damage to deal with regular encounters, but suffer greatly with single target bosses. The inclusion of Fisticuffs and Boomerangs is an insurance that encounters can be dealt with for little MP, but the absolutely useless Knives and Clubs will make the whole thing drag, especially in extended dungeons.
Should you actually want to somehow make this work, then you’ll want to make sure that you branch out a little. Grabbing some early points in Humanity with Yangus will ensure that you have a heal and Kabuff, which you’ll need in long battles, and doing the same with Jessica and Staves will help via the Acceleratle buff. Angelo is, sadly, a bit of a lost cause; he’ll do reasonable damage with Fisticuffs, but his spells will be MP limited and he’ll lack the power and restoration that comes from either Bows or Staves. Don’t say we didn’t warn you – this build is likely to be a nightmare when the difficulty spikes in certain late game locations.
- Terrible singlet target damage. Angelo and Yangus might do reasonably well, but nothing compared to normal skill choices.
- Healing will be lacking, especially since the Hero isn’t prioritising the Courage tree and as such, lacks Omniheal. Late game struggles abound.
- Spells will be required a great deal, and these choices will leave you with limited abilities that restore or preserve MP.
- Technically the game is doable, but some elements of the post game might be almost impossible. Just what we want from a terrible build, to be honest.
Terrible 3DS Build
- Hero – (Spears)
- Red – (Knives)
- Morrie – (Clubs)
- Jessica – (Knives)
Alright, so what we’ve managed to do here is create a build that is fantastic at slaying Metal Slimes, but terrible at pretty much anything else, which we think is rather fitting for the comedy stylings of such a game. The Hero and Morrie will do well in this regard, since their choices of pons are ideal for taking on the metal lads, and they’ll also do fairly well when it comes to single targets, but the inclusion of Knives on both of the ladies is just cruel. The early game shouldn’t be too bad, since you can rely on new equipment models to keep you going for a while, but the late game and healing specifically will be a serious challenge.
Speaking of which, you’re probably going to want to get very focused on Alchemy to make this build work. Certain accessories can be crafted that grant the user a weaker version of Multiheal, and we’re almost positive that you’ll need one of these to make the team work in the late game. Grabbing some Tension boosting skills with Morrie might be a good idea, the thought being that you take down targets before they take you down, but this will only get you so far. Mercy stopped us picking up Boomerangs on both the Hero and Morrie, because whilst this would be hilarity of the highest order, you’ll likely be unable to finish the main story, never mind even approaching the post game. Good luck with this one, you’ll need it.
- Inexplicably fantastic build for taking down Metal Slimes, thanks to Spears and Clubs on the Hero and Morrie respectively. Whilst you’ll lack for almost everything else, experience points will not be in short supply.
- Healing is woeful on this team, and we highly recommend that you invest in some spell granting equipment, the Sage’s Stone in particular will grant a version of Multiheal, which will be essential.
- Group damage is lacking outside of spells, and MP is likely to be in short supply, so you’ll have to invest in items significantly, or get into some very late game Alchemy.
- Bosses will likely take an age to slay. Knives in particular are terrible in this regard, because they’re mostly used for applying ailments or instant death, which bosses are often immune to, or at the very least the chance of applying is hilariously small.
- Outside of the Boomerang version, which would likely cause lasting psychological damage, this is quite possibly the worst build we could come up with for Dragon Quest 8.
Categories: Dragon Quest VIII